How to Feedback: What Makes it So Hard?
A few weeks ago I sat down with my dear friend and colleague, Annalise Koltai, to talk about how leaders give feedback. To us it’s one of those skills that impacts so much: relationships, results and the organization’s culture. So doing it poorly (or not at all) is bad for good leadership.
Our conversation revealed practical ways for leaders to get better at giving feedback. It will come to you in 3 parts with takeaways, practices and resources so you can experiment in between. Each segment is no longer than 15 minutes. That means you’ll build an essential, high impact skill in less than an hour. BANG!
Jump in here 👇🏻 and let me know how you do.
Key takeaways
A leader’s mindset, intention and emotional awareness matter A LOT
Both receivers AND givers of feedback can feel threatened in the conversation
Our ability to give good feedback can get derailed by our needs to control or be liked
Reflection Questions
What shifts for you when you think of feedback as a tool for growth and results, rather than as conflict, confrontation or criticism?
What stories do you attach to giving feedback? (such as “giving feedback will make things worse” or “she won’t like me anymore”) What else might be as true or truer?
Take stock of your emotional reactions to giving feedback. For example, are you afraid or anxious about the outcome? Are you angry or resentful that you have to do it? How could you experience these emotions without letting them highjack how things go?
Resources
Crucial Conversations by Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, and Emily Gregory
Say What You Mean by Oren Jay Sofer
Radical Candor by Kim Scott
The Science of Emotional Regulation: 10% Happier Podcast with Dan Harris